This is a Golden Roland honesty moment. A few weeks ago I had a very bad weekend and my mom was the only one I could talk to. At the end of the conversation I had made plans to do a social media makeover I was going to delete my blog and start over but when I log on I realized goldensunrays.wordpress.com is 7 years old. One would think that after 7 years, my writing would have improved but it has not. It has gotten worse. It had gotten commercial. I just spent the last 2 hours going through my facebook notes and blog posts and I am disappointed in myself. I felt emotions I have not felt in a while. So many memories flooded and overwhelmed me. I did not realize how much of a censor I did not have! I’m sorry. I am so very sorry. I apologize to myself for letting fear dictate what I write.
I may never get published I may never write my own book I might not even get over a hundred followers on my blog but that is alright with me if I stay true to who I am and write what I feel from my heart. I’m a lover. I’m a rebel and I am a free spirit my heart is gold and my intentions are pure I do not mean to offend people when I write but I speak the truth as I know it and as I experienced it and so I’m not going to apologize, I should not have apologize to anyone other than myself for celebrating my life, all of it! The good, bad, crazy, naive, ignorant, sexual and even the religious. If I had to be remembered for one thing, it would be for fearlessly and boldly writing from the soul…so fuck ya’ll too lazy to read, 25 character tweetin’ , 30 second snapchat video makin’, wanna make a connection with people but cant even connect with yourself, too obsessed with what others will say, how many likes can I get for this thot shot bitch-asses.
At last, the time has come.
I’ve pressed the reset button my life and my old blog posts are being deleted. Enjoy them while you can. I have made a slight lifestyle change that may conflict with what others construe as normal but I am not ashamed. As I begin writing more honest, open and frequent sometimes I will add an old post but for now it is best to start off anew. So I’m excited, nervous, a little bit scared but I’m ready for the next phase of my life to begin. I’m ready to start living and cant wait for you to join me.