Response: Are Asian men undateable?

I saw this article.

I read this article

And then I reread this article.

I thought, “hmm interesting.” Is that right? Should I respond?

Yea, these men have the right to know.

asian male

So here is my response to Justin Chan’s 11/20/13  PolicyMic article “Are Asian Men Undateable?” 

Wait! Darn. I said I read and reread it but now I have to reread because instead of giving my opinion I forgot to determine:

A. If this was a legitimate question posed to the public to be answered honestly or

B. If the article was the authors’ supporting evidence and answer to the question and/or

C. If there was even a consensus reached as to whether or not they are.   <—— This means I’ll have to read the dreaded, overly sensitive, highly opinionated comments.

(I abhor reading peoples comments )

Ok give me a minute sorry guys I’ll be right back…..


implied face palm

Well, like I said I mickey fricky abhor the comments section. AS usual, people are eager to throw out the first bit of BS that comes to their minds. Why do we always have to look for 1 thing to pick on and make a mountain of it? Why cant the focus be on the whole article or on the fact this is coming from an Asian man about other Asian men? How can we be angry  at someone’s genuine experience and their personal references? We just can’t please everybody but leave your opinion to yourself or write you own post on your own page. And yea there are a few things I disagree with but overall it is NOT that deep people.

Anyways without further ado here is my response:

I must answer the question head on first before going into anything else. Are Asian men undateable? No They are NOT undateable.  I don’t think a specific race & gender can be undateable, less desired maybe but not undateable. Besides, that term can be labeled pretty much on any individual  who’s personality just isn’t suited for a relationship at the moment and we (they) know who they are.  So to be very direct I want to say that Asian men are the most dateable race for me right now. I’ve been apart of the Black Women Asian Men  (BWAM) community for about 4 years. I’ve been to Canada, Maryland, of course my hometown Detroit, MI  where I dated my first Asian and now LA for the BW/AM community. Yes I’ve experienced the good and the bad but that is what my BWAM  section is for, I really don’t want to make this an all Black women Asian male relations type of response.

So perhaps the main and quasi only issue with the post for me is the term “undateable”  something else could’ve better fit it but it doesn’t make me want to scream and lose my head in the comments sections. Other than that what makes me a little upset is the B.S excuse I’ve been hearing these past years about

 1.) The emasculate depiction of Asian men in the media and

2. As his black female friend stated, “Asian men, along with black women, are probably the least desirable people.” I have never heard either of these ironically until I joined the BW/AM groups. The later has been used as the “perfect’ reason for our gender and races to start looking at one another as prospects but that is a very weak argument to go on. Even if it is true, we shouldn’t be each others last resort.  And who in the world (cough America*) is telling the Asian males this stuff? The Media? Ha! We knew they have never been our best friend so why should their opinion even matter? You can choose to believe who and what you want but the opinion of other people who are NOT in control of my life does NOT matter, they are NOT a credible source.

Asian men, You are dateable and maybe because I don’t watch TV I never notice the stereotypical Asian male role and I apologize for not realizing the effect it has on you.  I thought the Asian guy on the Matheletes team in Mean Girls was hot,

asianmathlete

I won’t be completely ignorant so I’ll admit it now that it has been brought to my attention  I do realize that Asian males are portrayed in this manner and you guys don’t like it but I can’t help it if I’m attracted to this. I am not the only one and if you really want to find these women we aren’t that hard to find. There are underground railroads that will lead to these women of all races just for you lol. You just have to be open  for friendships or any kind of relationships and  fellas, as my ex Asian bf showed me; please try not to have the Asian straight face so much.

straight face

 Now that ^^ is  intimidating (yet manly) so I get confused a lot  I don’t know if its ok to approach or not.

 Sorry if you guys don’t understand that they are plenty of women who love and value you in this way. And I’m sorry there are plenty of women who don’t understand just how sexy your intelligence, perseverance and diligence is. That these qualities and more make you more than just dateable but optimal marriage material.  I have never seen Asian men as  “weaklings”. America, the home of the brave, the land of the free and country of major denial tends to value some of the wrong things. What is considered attractive here is often confused as manly but it isn’t really manly. But you quiet, confidently bold, strong, education and family focused men who don’t have to dick swing to prove you are a man have always been on my radar. So I apologize that others are blind to what it really takes to be a man but you shouldn’t let them led to believe that you are something you are not. Who can tell you more about yourself than you? I really find it hard for the online dating sites to be accurate in their findings. This is America people! we will sway the judgment in anyway we want to which is usually less favorable of people of color and spew it out as the honest to GOD truth.  I won’t say never mind your female counterparts and their seemingly widely accepted social status but just know that I am looking at you, the Asian guy with the confidence to wear bold colors, dances hip hop with the best of them, speaks two or more languages fluently and studies chemistry for hours on end. You are dateable. You are (as corny as it is about to sound) what ever YOU say you are. YOU attract whoever you want to attract. YOU don’t need the validation of people who purposely depicts you as “soft” or negatively judges you based on stereotypes (because they know like I know your silent strength scares them) America is practically owned by China but that’s another post I won’t get into.

I hope this helped or at least made you smile a little.

Love,

Golden

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3 comments

  1. Preach it Girl! I do understand and also see that like most minority races, Asian men don’t have a good portral in the media. But the media is just nasty candy and the type of fast food that’ll give you heart problems just by glancing at it. :/ I also have a weakness for Asian men, and will also say that: Asian Men. You. Are. Loved. By WOMEN of all races!! I’m surprised that this writer isn’t aware of the new Asian fever wave that’s happening due to the drop dead deliciously sexy K-pop singers. I mean really. Really. (sorry I’m ranting but I felt like leaving some love and positive opinion <3)

    • lol Thank You I actually got a response from him I tweeted him about this article and he read it!!! My day was made but he said he wrote the article to spark a discussion to see if it is a legitimate protest, Um yes it is!!!! I really wanted him to push more so for action. I needed a what’s going to happen next not a what do you think? All my ranting aside. Thank you very much for your support and feedback!! Be Blessed

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