Sweet Dreams are made of…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-bP58YvGgkYOU CAN BE MY ….

I’m mad the song that fits my current situation perfectly is sang by someone I don’t particularly care for but hey! that’s life! (I can’t seem to find the original music video anywhere but this person did a fairly good job of making up one)

So yes. Here I am savoring these sweet moments. Flashes of our love making, the showers, your hugs and kisses, the dates, the laughs, the open conversations. I swear if I close my eyes tight enough I can feel your arms around me and hear you talking. No matter how tight I close my eyes no sooner than I get these feelings  that  tears fall because I don’t know If I’ll ever get moments likes our ever again. I hold on to these thoughts, wishing, wanting needing them to feel real again. Needing you, cause it feels so good but it hurts. It hurts not physically having you. Knowing you’re continents away. Not knowing if we will ever see each other again or if  someone can create these moments in my life again or if i’ll even let them. I’m scared to let go, they are so sweet and tender and endearing but if I don’t, I feel like Ill just keep stabbing myself with loneliness and longing. Its blissful torture and taunting yet soothes the insecure beast that fears it won’t ever be loved. It’s strange how the sweetest dreams can also be beautiful nightmares. Either way I don’t want to wake up from you Chenxiao.

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