“Because black men are more socially accepted than black women:”
This was said to me by my Korean employee yesterday. And sometimes assumptions are correct. (I don’t know about this one, ya’ll can give me ya’ll opinion on this later)
Other times, they aren’t.
I also assumed that this particular employee was Chinese. I know! I know I shouldn’t had assumed that but I never told him I thought he was though:)
but then again..sometimes assumptions are correct. Like the conversation that followed once I learn that he was Korean:
“Me: You’re Korean? So let me ask you this. How many black friends do you have?
A very long pause.
Him: Very few, about 2.
(I knew it)
Me. “Let me guess, they’re both black males ain’t they”
He smiles. Again, I knew it
OK here we go now!
Me: why you don’t have any black females friends?!
I already knew this answer…
Him: I don’t know. There’s never been an opportunity to meet one
—> OK here is where I start smiling uncontrollably because EVERY Korean guy I have ever met, or talked to said the EXACT same thing.
THERE’S NO OPPORTUNITY? AS IF YOUR BLACK MALE FRIEND DOESN’T HAVE ANY BLACK FEMALE FAMILY MEMEBERS, FRIENDS, ETC?
So I said that him and as he tried to rectify his statement he comes up with
“Well, black men are more socially accepted than black females so its easier to meet them!”
My face was priceless because these are all assumptions that I’ve made and today they were proven correct. So I dig a lil further and ask, ” You don’t think that you have anything in common with black women? There’s always a common ground, ” to which he responds, “Hey, do you listen to indie rock?” and my answer was yes and began to name a few artist off and then he proceeds to say, “WELL, I’VE NEVER MET ONE THAT PIQUED MY INTEREST.”
This turned out to be a really fun and interesting conversation as I continued to pick at his brain. Later he came back and told me he was still thinking about it and that he hopes we can be friends. (ha! I refuse to be your black female friend quota) but I’ve made my point. All I wanted was for him to think about how he chooses his friends and views black women and if there’s really no opportunity to engage with us or if it is an unnoticed aversion. Even later, he came back to the job and we talked a lil bit more and I felt like he understands now.
Thinking is all that I ever ask people to do. So what do you think: Are bm more socially accepted than bw?
Gaston: Lefou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…
Lefou: A dangerous pastime?
Gaston: I know
P.S – note the sarcasm I want you all to think. Please. Think. Think for yourselves. Think why. Think why not and allow your mind to be opened
BE BOLD. BE BRAVE. BE BLESSED, Golden